✨OMG MYSTERY OZZY BASEBALL 💖⚾️ + FREE BONUS CARD SIGNED BY… MIKE?!?🖊️🧢💅

✨OMG MYSTERY OZZY BASEBALL 💖⚾️ + FREE BONUS CARD SIGNED BY… MIKE?!?🖊️🧢💅

Okay so like hiiii 🛍️💖 this is literally the most random 💫 spiritual 🧿 glamorous 💋 thing I’ve ever found in my whole fabulous life 💅💎 like no joke okay??

Sooo I was, like, totally at this sketchy yard sale in New Jersey 🙄 (ew, I know, but whatever I was looking for vintage ✨vibes✨) and there was this super gross bin full of, like, old man junk 🧤🧼 and then BOOM 💥 I saw it…

THE BALL. 😱⚾️💖

Like, it’s an actual baseball, duh ⚾️ but it had this, like, scribbly scribble on it that said OZZY 😍🖊️ and I was like OH MY GODDDD is this Ozzy Osbourne?? Like, the bat-eating scream guy??? 🦇🎤 AAAAAAHHH 😭

But like, then I googled his autograph on my phone 📱📸 (because I’m not that dumb, okay???) and it didn’t, like, totally match?? But maybe he was drunk??? Or upside-down?? Or like, using his eyeliner pencil or something 🖤💄 IDK it’s a mystery!! Maybe it’s a different Ozzy!! Like Ozzy from, like, Little League or Foot Locker or something 🤷‍♀️ but still like sooo iconic✨

So OBVIOUSLY I made it even more fabulous 💅✨ and I signed it RIGHT UNDERNEATH with my pink glitter Sharpie 💖🖊️ it says:

OZZY

Karen Pelosi 💋

LIKE SHUT UPPPPP it’s a COLLAAAAB 😍⚡️💋

The ball is, like, normal size-ish?? About 2 1/2 inches x 2 1/2 inches 📏 and weighs like 5oz which is basically the same as, like, my foundation bottle 💄 or my dog’s rhinestone collar 🐶💎

AND I’M NOT DONE 🛑👛

You ALSO get a FREE BONUS BASEBALL CARD 📸💥

It was, like, originally some guy named Tony Fernandez?? But NOW it’s signed by a mystery man named Mike 🖊️ JUST MIKE 😱 no last name, no context, no nothing. ICONIC.

It’s giving ✨anonymous baseball legend energy✨

WHY I’M SELLING 🛣️🌵

Okay so like I am saving up for my ✨Burning Man road trip✨ where I’m gonna, like, find myself 💫 kiss a guy named River 🏞️ or maybe Wolf 🐺 and like, cover my whole body in body glitter every day and eat yogurt out of a coconut shell 🙃🌈

I’m driving across Route 80 🚗💨 and then back on Route 10 (cuz symmetry matters, duh) and I wanna stop and like HUG all my Facebook friends IRL 🫂💖 like every single one of you who ever liked my karaoke videos or said I looked hot in a hat 🧢💋

So yeah, like, BUY THIS BALL ⚾️💄💖 and the card and also check out all my other super cute listings because I literally have SOOO MANY BALLS 😭🥹 and they all need, like, sparkly new homes ✨🏠✨

Thank you SOOOO much bestie for supporting my dream, my journey, my glitter, and my balls 💋💖💖💖

LOVE YOU BYEEEEEEE

– Karen Pelosi 💄👛👠⚾️🐶💋🕯️🧃📸💅